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My first Father’s Day without Dad
By Alison Carter | Thursday 15 June 2017
Father’s Day throughout my life used to be such a wonderful occasion. Growing up, I used to love creating home-made cards and treats for Dad to celebrate his special day. As an adult, with every passing year, I realised just how much Dad had done for me and I always took great care to select the best card with the strongest expression of my love, respect and thanks. Our family Father’s Day lunches were always such fun and full of laughter and promise for the future.
Dad was a really intelligent and well-educated man, with views and useful ideas on just about every topic which helped me enormously in navigating my way through the ups and downs of life.
So when Dad was first diagnosed with dementia back in 2007, it came as a real shock and our family had very little idea really what it meant. It’s been a long, hard journey of increasing disability and isolation. I did all I could to mitigate this by supporting my parents, creating a new service to help them and others afflicted by this terrible condition but it’s been a tiring and devastating experience for my family and me.
My father sadly died in November last year, but he’d been lost for a long time before that. Every year I’d still buy him a Father’s Day card as I always did, but this will be the first year without that ritual, and without him. To put it simply, I miss my dad.
Father’s Day was always an uplifting occasion. Dad was my rock, my source of sound advice, my sounding board. But as years passed and precious time slipped away so my rock slid into the sand and eventually everything fell silent. Dad became gradually more disoriented, lost the use of his body, except for his eyebrows with which he could signal a message to us. I know he’d want me to keep fighting for him, which is why I’m writing this blog, and continuing to do all I can for Alzheimer’s Research UK.
My story is just one of so many of those afflicted by this terrible condition. There are 850,000 people and their families living with dementia right now. If just one person donates to the charity after reading my story, that will make my Father’s Day worthwhile once again. Let’s find a cure together!
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About the author
Alison Carter
Alison Carter knows only too well how dementia can impact on families – her dad John was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2007, aged 71. Her mum Leslie looked after him at home with the help of carers and Alison. John sadly passed away in 2016. Both mum and daughter are determined to raise awareness of dementia and Alzheimer’s Research UK’s crucial work to defeat it and have shared their story with the media many times, including national radio and TV broadcasts. Alison and Leslie are Champions of Alzheimer’s Research UK, an accolade given to a handful of supporters in recognition of their outstanding efforts to help us beat dementia.
Tags: Supporter stories
God bless you, Alison. I lost my mother in 2014 to Alzheimer’s and I vividly remember the first Mother’s Day without her. Thank you for sharing your story and your experiences with us and for helping those that may still be on the Alzheimer’s journey.
Blessings to you!
Such a lovely post. Thank you for sharing. Ava
I to lost my wonderful dad and hero last October from Alzheimer’s. He was and still is the most important man in my life. He was diagnosed 9 years ago and after 5 years he didn’t recognise me at all anymore, I found that heartbreaking and still do… I haven’t really grieved the passing of my dad as I think that I did all my grieving when he forgot who I was and when he no longer lived at home with my mum x but I think I’m wrong… it’s been 8 months since he passed away and I am thinking about him more and more everyday… I’m so so sad and miss him with all my heart love u dad x2 really were the best xx